I usually sit accompanied with silence, thinking about the moments that I generally don’t want to think of.
Though I have made peace with the pain and have allowed the stings of pain to pierce my senses whenever they wish to, but sometimes I feel suffocated with this pain and your everlasting existence in my thoughts. The situation is knotted with millions of invisible threads. The threads i am very familiar with and the knots that your absence tied.
Though the pain has gone denser, deep in my heart and it doesn’t reflect in my eyes now but I can feel its presence, deep down in my heart, piercing my each nerve until they bleed to wash away my strength to survive without you. The thing that we two shared and we named it “love” has melted with the wetness of my eyes and dampness caused by the blood-loss that my feelings experienced every new second.
It has been a long time since all this happened, you and I parted our ways, things are back to normal and we are now a forgotten ‘case’, buried in the ashes of time. You have headed your ways, leaving everything behind that had something to do with the bond between ‘you and me’. And you know what, it is too late for me to complaint for all this, as I said, our ‘case’ has been closed, buried and forgotten.
So why am I writing this if there are no issues so far. If I act naturally and be honest than the answer would be, May be I still miss you. May be my emotions that are buried under the ruins of time are still alive, feel suffocated and yearn to breathe. May be the heartbeats that had lost their meaning in your absence are still not convinced with the verdict of time and may be the false hopes that one day you will need me like I do, are bigger than the reality I am aware of that you have left everything which connected you with me, behind.
The few false hopes that are keeping me alive. May be thinking of you is the only way to survive, I am left with.