The Bottle Theif

Okay! Long story short, someone from the office stole my water bottle (actually water and bottle both, as the bottle was filled with water). The incident happened in the cab, where I had carefully placed the bottle next to my bag and preferred to stand outside until the cab moved. When I sat back on the seat, I discovered that bottle was missing. I asked everyone present in the cab but no one knew a thing!

Now…Where did my bottle go? If you are wondering that why am I writing this post, when it was just a water bottle! Well, that’s the drill my friend! It was just a water bottle, anyone can buy it in 20-30 bucks but that person preferred to steal it. This is a clear case of disorder.

Whoever has pilfered the bottle knows that no one is going to check his or her bag just for a water bottle. Of course I am not going to hire a special investigation squad to find out who stole that bottle. Sadly, the bottle wasn’t insured either. (And, I wonder if any company provides insurance for lost and stolen water bottles, blah). And yes, Police never registers FIR, (I have seen it in films) Anyways! So, I would rather prefer to write an open letter to the bottle chor! (I just hope he/she manages to take out some time out of his/her busy oye lucky lucky oye schedule to read this post.)

Open Letter to the Bottle Chor

Dear Thief,

I hope you are enjoying sipping ounces of water which I filled through my bottle. And I request you to put those 40-50 rupees that you saved by not buying a bottle for yourself in a fixed deposit. Please feel free to write back to me if you need any assistance in investing the hard saved money. I shall certainly help you in finding the best return on investment options.

But dude, a bottle! Who does it? And why?

When I finally figured out that the bottle was stolen not lost, I was really worried. Worried about a person like you, who at this mature phase of age, is taken over by thieving disorder. Pal! It is a disorder-A bad habit, which was practiced by you for years and ignored by your loved ones for the same interval of time. Now that silly ignored bad habit has transformed into a full-fledged disorder, which no one knows about, but it still rests under your skin.

If you can steal a water bottle, then you could probably steal anything or rob anyone because your mind comfortably prefers stealing things rather than purchasing them. And, you put your integrity and honesty at stake just to save a few bucks?

Okay, that’s all from the right side of my mind. Here comes the left

I wish I could find say, “Whoever you are, I don’t know you but remember, one day I will find you and then I will kill you.” Okay I know that’s a bit exaggerated but still better than stealing someone’s water bottle you moron!

I wish I could file FIR against you and drag you in the court.

Psst! Hey you, if you are plain reader, no the thief, then join me for a prayer. Let’s us wish that God shows right path to that aimless and ailed mind of the bottle chor. AND LUCKILY, if you are the star of the event I mean oye lucky lucky oye then pray even harder to save yourself. You are on the right track my friend. Step Aside!

PS: Sob Sob! I now need to take out all my savings till date to get a new water bottle. बर्बादी का तगड़ा आलम है वैसे! ㋡